HarmFul Encounter
by HighonLP
Summary: “Harm” hurts Mac more than anyone else ever has. But Mac finds that you can’t always believe what you see.
1. Part 1

Title: Harm-ful encounter (Part 1) Author: Daphne Email: Srtaborradora84@yahoo.com Category: Harm/Mac Romance, WARNING: Rape/bondage in part 1  
  
Rating: R  
  
Spoilers: None that I know of  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own them, If I did, we wouldn't have to wait as long for Harm/Mac to get together  
  
Summary: "Harm" hurts Mac more than anyone else ever has. But Mac finds that you can't always believe what you see. Feedback: Please! I want to know how I'm doing, that's the only way to make it better. Archive: Sure, just let me know please. Author Note: PLEASE don't kill me. Don't give up hope on part one, its not what you or Mac thinks!!  
  
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Sarah "Mac" Mackenzie returned to her apartment after working late at JAG Headquarters. She was exhausted. It had been a long day in court for both her and Harm. She'd been presiding again and while it went slightly better than the last time, Harm knew that he didn't have a case and was taking it all out on her. She took off her coat and jacket and laid them on the back of a chair. A soft sigh escaped her lips as she walked into her bedroom. "Harmon Rabb is going to drive me nuts one of these days.." She said to no one in particular.  
  
She didn't notice the dark figure come up behind her until she was picked up and thrown down hard onto the bed. It knocked the wind out of her, leaving her unable to fight as her arms were tied above her head nor could she fight when she felt her skirt being shoved roughly up so it bunched around her waist and her legs were tied apart. When she finally got her breath back, she attempted to scream and pull at the bindings, only to have a hand coming crashing down on top of her mouth and the bindings tighten painfully. A soft whimper escaped her. She looked up and found herself staring into the blue-green eyes of her partner. She squirmed more, finally breaking her mouth free from under his hand. "Harm! What the hell do you think you're doing? Let me go!"  
  
She received silence as an answer as he moved back down and ripped her uniform top open, sending buttons flying across the room. "HARM!" She shrieked. "What are you DOING?!"  
  
He pulled out a knife and held it to her throat causing her to gasp. //What's going on? Why is he doing this?// Her mind was screaming. Something was very wrong. They didn't even look like his eyes. There was so much.hatred there. It caused her to tremble underneath the weight of his body. "Harm, *please*. You don't want to do this to me. You care about me. We're friends." He ran the cold metal down the valley between her breasts and under the fabric, with one flick the material flew open. Panic filled her. "NO! HARM!! STOP!!!"  
  
The back of his hand came into contact with her cheek hard causing her to whimper. She again felt the cold metal traveling. This time it traveled down her stomach and cut through the material of her uniform skirt. "STOP! Please.please.stop." Tears began to spill down her cheeks as she felt the knife cut off her panties and watched as all her garmets got tossed aside. She heard the sickening sound of his zipper being lowered and a soft sob escaped her throat. "Why Harm? Why are you doing this to me?" She whispered, heartbroken. Of all the men in her life, she trusted Harm the most and would never have imagined him doing this to her. She closed her eyes tightly, unable to watch him. Her body shook with pain with every violent thrust. The next thing she knew was the darkness that claimed her as the pain caused her to pass out. 


	2. Part 2

Author's Note: If you would like part 1, email me for it. And I'd like to thank all the people that sent encouraging words when the will to write left me. I've never seen myself as a good writer and after my laptop died and I was working so much, I didn't think I'd ever get back to writing. But YAY I have a new laptop now and I'm back at school so my schedule isn't quite as bad. I'd also like to thank those who sent ideas, a lot of them were about who the attacker should be but that's the first thing that I planned out (. And I'd also like to say that I haven't read any of the Mac rape stories that have came about since I started my story. I saw the summary and deleted it. I didn't want them to effect my story, so if there are any overlaps, I am very sorry. Anyway, I've revised each section, changing and fixing different things. So enough said considering this note is now almost as long as the story itself, lol.  
  
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PART 2:  
  
Mac's Apartment 1230 Tuesday May 5, 2003  
  
"Mac! Come on. Open up! I know you're in there, your car is out front."  
  
Mac tensed immediately at the sound of her partner's voice. //What now? Was he coming back for seconds?// She slowly opened her eyes to find that her bindings had been taken off. She lifted the covers to find all that she was wearing was a Navy t-shit. //God! He wanted to leave his mark?// Moving slowly because of the immense pain, she got out her firearm and got off the bed.  
  
Harm sighed when she didn't answer, he dug out his key and let himself in. "Mac?" He called out gently, his voice full of concern. He looked around, everything looked in order. Her uniform jacket wasn't hung up though. He heard movement in her bedroom and walked back there. He knocked lightly on the door, which was open a crack. "Mac? Hey are you okay? It really isn't like you to miss work. Mac? The Admiral was worried when you didn't call in and asked that I come and check on you. Why haven't you been answering either of your phones? Mac? Are you awake?" He pushed the door open and walked in slowly. He heard something crack under his foot. When he lifted his foot back up to find a button from her uniform top. "What the.?" He looked around the room and saw her clothing cut apart and tossed aside. //She'd never let someone do this to her clothes, especially not her uniform.// He jumped at the sound of her voice.  
  
"What the hell are you doing here?" Mac tried to sound stern, but her voice cracked. She pointed the gun at him. "How could you?! I thought that I meant something to you! I thought that you cared! And now you're going to act like nothing happened? Why?! Why would you do that to me?! You BASTARD! God! If you wanted me that damn badly, you didn't have to RAPE me!! I would've slept with you willingly. I can't.I don't understand, Harm. I don't understand at all. What did I do to deserve that? If this is about the damn case, I'm really sorry. I didn't mean to make you that angry. I was just doing my job. You don't have a case. And even if I was being unfair, why did I deserve that? Explain it to me. Make me understand. Please. I have to know." She pleased as a defeated sob escaped her.  
  
He turned towards the sound of her voice. "I didn't have to WHAT?!" Harm stared at her. "Power down, Marine. What the hell are you talking about? What happened to your face? And where did you get my shirt? Mac, what.?" He stepped towards her. "Come on. Just put the gun down and we can talk about this. I really don't know what you're talking about. I didn't do anything to you. I never would. What happened? Talk to me, Sarah. I can help you if you let me. Just slow down and tell me what happened." He stepped towards her again.  
  
"Don't you DARE come near me! I'll kill you, you son-of-a-bitch! Stay back!" Tears filled her eyes. "Why Harm? I LOVE you. How could you do that to me? How? Why? I don't get it. I really don't. Where you drunk? On drugs? Did something happen after you went home? Don't lie to me. Just tell me. Tell me why you did it, Harm. Please. I have to understand." She held the gun steady on him.  
  
Harm was taken back, not only by her accusation, but her statement of love as well. He took a deep breath. "Mac.Sarah, listen to me, please. I don't know what you're talking about. I really don't. I'd never do that to you. God, I'd cut my hands off before I'd ever hurt you. You know that. I care about you too much to ever do that to you. Come on, put the gun down. Please. We can talk about this. Just put the gun down"  
  
"Why? So you can tie me up again? I don't think so. And stop lying to me! Just tell me the truth. It's a little late to protect me now."  
  
"Tie you up? I didn't.I wouldn't." Harm was beyond confused. "Sarah.when did this happen?"  
  
"Fine. You wanna play dumb? I'll play your game. Last night. You did this last night. I came home after working late and I came back to my bedroom. You picked me up and.you threw me down on the bed. It knocked the wind out of me and then you tied me up. You ripped my shirt off and then cut the rest of my clothes of and then you raped me. And stop calling me Sarah!"  
  
"Oh my God.Sarah." He took another step towards her.  
  
"I already warned you and I said stop calling me that!" She hissed and angrily wiped tears from her cheeks.  
  
"Okay, Mac, I wouldn't and couldn't have done this to you. If you don't believe that, then I have proof that I wasn't anywhere near your apartment last night. Josh came to town for visit. He's on spring break or something like that. He asked if I'd take him flying, so we took out Sarah to a field and had a little camp out for the night. We left as soon as I got off work. That's why I left early. You weren't in your office so I didn't come by to tell you. We didn't get back until 0700 this morning. I dropped him off at my apartment and took a quick shower, changed and went straight to work. I thought that it was odd that you weren't there. The Admiral called me in at 1130 and asked if I knew why you weren't at work. I told him that I didn't so he told me to come check on you since you didn't answer your home phone or your cell phone. I wasn't here and I didn't do this. I could never do this to anyone, but especially not to you. I do care about you, Sarah. I really do. I could never hurt you. Never."  
  
"But.no..." Mac was so confused. "I saw you. I looked into your eyes. I saw so much hatred there. It scared me. And you wouldn't talk to me. You wouldn't answer me. You just."  
  
"Oh Mac.I couldn't look at you with hatred in my eyes if I tried." He said gently. "I know that you believe that. You know me, Sa.Mac and you know that I'd never lay an abusive hand on you. It would kill me."  
  
She loosened her grip on the gun and tossed it onto the bed. She saw the truth in his eyes. Those eyes that were always the window to his soul. She knew he was telling the truth, but that only made her more confused. She nodded slightly. "I..I believe you, but someone was here last night, Harm. Someone did this to me. And if it wasn't you, then who did?" 


	3. Part 3

((Everything is in part 1)) From part 2.   
  
Part 3  
  
Mac's Apartment 1330 Tuesday May 5, 2003  
  
Harm stepped towards her tentatively, but stopped. "Sarah." He said softly. "Come to me."  
  
She looked up at him, the words that seemed to be from ages ago echoing through her head.  
  
"You know the reason." He opened his arms to her. He found himself holding his breath. She had to trust him.  
  
She studied him for a few minutes before beginning to break down. She hurried into his arms, burying her face in his chest, her arms winding tightly around his waist. "Harm." Tears streamed down her cheeks, her body racked with sobs. "Who.who."  
  
"Shhh.its okay.we'll find out." One arm was protectively around her while he stroked her hair gently with the other. "You're safe now, Sarah." He placed a soft kiss on the top of her head. "I'm not going to let anyone hurt you ever again." He sat down slowly on the bed, pulling her gently down onto his lap. "I'm here now.No one's going to hurt you."  
  
She nodded slightly. "What do we do?"  
  
"I know you don't want to go anywhere.but.will you let me take you to the hospital?"  
  
"What? No, Harm.I'm fine." Mac said firmly.  
  
"I know.but.we need to see if he left.um.evidence on you. When we find him, we'll need it to make sure that he gets put away for as long as possible. And.to make sure that there is nothing.wrong with you.Sarah.do you remember if he.if he used protection?"  
  
She tensed. "Oh God.no.no.I don't.I wasn't paying attention..I was trying not to.Harm.what if I'm.?"  
  
"Hey hey." He tilted her chin up to look at him. "Easy. If that's the case, we'll figure it out. I'm here for you no matter what. There are several options and if you wanted to have the child.I'd be by your side the whole way." He softly kissed her forehead. "But first things first.will you let me take you to the hospital?"  
  
Mac nodded slowly. "I want him to pay."  
  
"He will...don't worry.he will. So.let me take you to the hospital?" He asked gently.  
  
She nodded slightly. "You'll stay with me?" She hated how vulnerable she sounded.  
  
"Of course I will."  
  
She nodded again. "Okay then."  
  
He set her down on the edge of the bed and grabbed her a pair of sweatpants. "Here.put these on. It's a bit chilly out there today."  
  
She nodded and slowly pulled them on, grimacing in pain as she did.  
  
He felt the anger build inside him. Whoever did this to her would pay, he'd make sure of that. He gathered up her uniform or the scraps of it anyway and put all of it in a bag. He found her a pair of socks and sneakers and put them on for her.  
  
"Harm.I'm a Lieutenant Colonel in the United States Marine Corps.I can put on my own socks and shoes." She protested.  
  
Harm ignored her protests and helped her up onto her feet. "Let's go." He said softly and wrapped his arm around her waist to help her walk. "Don't argue.just let me help." His tone was gently but left no room for her to protest so she remained silent as he led her down to his 'vette. The truth was his closeness was helping to put her at ease.  
  
She got in slowly; every muscle in her body was aching. They were silent the entire way to Bethesda. When they arrived, Harm helped her inside and sat beside her as they waited. Time seemed to inch by and Harm finally got impatient. He went to the nurses' station. "Excuse me.but we need a doctor now. We've been waiting for too damn long. It's not like we're talking about a paper cut here!"  
  
"I'm sorry, Sir, but a doctor will be with you as soon as possible." The nurse said gently.  
  
"No! She needs to see someone NOW!"  
  
The nurse nodded. "I'll see if I can find someone sir." She said softly and disappeared around the corner.  
  
Harm took a few deep breaths before returning to Mac.  
  
"You didn't have to do that." It was barely audible.  
  
"You shouldn't have to wait this long." He said softly and sat back down beside her. He gently took her hand in both of his. It looked so small and fragile in his.  
  
She looked down at there hands. "I'm fine, Harm." She couldn't tell if she was trying to convince him or herself.  
  
He just nodded, not releasing her hand. //I hope to God that she is. // 


	4. Part 4

  
  
Part 4 - (Any spoilers are possible from here on out, but nothing too heavy on the recent stuff)  
  
"Excuse me.are you Colonel Mackenzie?"  
  
Upon hearing the gentle voice, Mac looked up to see the female doctor standing in front of her. She nodded. "Yes.I am."  
  
"I'm very sorry for the wait, ma'am.I'm Lietenant Alyssa Kingston" She studied the two senior officers carefully. "If you and your husband will come with me." She turned and started back the hall.  
  
"Um." Mac went to correct her but stopped. If they knew that Harm wasn't related to her, they probably wouldn't allow him to go back with there with her and as much as she didn't want to admit it, she needed him. She looked up at Harm and saw understanding in his eyes. She stood slowly, cringing as pain shot through her entire body. She felt Harm's hand on the small of her back.not as firm as usual, but there none the less. She looked up and offered him a tiny smile that in no way made its way anywhere near her eyes, but did show her appreciation for his support.  
  
"Right this way." Lt. Kingston led them out of the crowded waiting room and down a long corridor. Mac forced herself not to look into the rooms as she passed them. For as long as she could remember she had hated hospitals. Maybe that was due to the amount of time she spent in them as a child when her mother had to be rushed in after Joe Mackenzie took out his aggression after a rough day. Maybe it was because the time she spent there after Eddie crashed the car.or maybe it was due to the times she had to go in because of the things Chris did to her. Or it could have been because of the long wait when they didn't know if Harm was going to make it after he crashed into the icy Atlantic the day before her wedding.or when they were waiting on news about Bud after he stepped on the mine. It was probably a combination of all of it. Hospitals were not good places. Being in them always meant that something was terribly wrong. Hospitals meant pain and suffering. Mac shivered involuntarily and immediately felt Harm's worried stare burning into her. She decided just to ignore it. Saying 'I'm fine' would be a complete lie so why bother. He wouldn't believe it anyway. She knew she wasn't fine, but she wasn't about to tell anyone, especially Harm that fact.  
  
Lt. Kingston led them into a small exam room and gave her a hospital gown. "Change into that and get up on the table. I'll be back very soon." She assured her and left them alone in the room.  
  
Mac started to reach for the bottom hem of the shirt. "Uh.Harm.she may think we're married, but we're not so if you wouldn't mind turning around or something." She knew it was ridiculous. Now really wasn't the time for modesty, but she had to pretend things were normal and undressing in front of Harm definitely wasn't normal.even if it should be.  
  
He nodded and turned around. "Listen.Mac.you really don't have to play the tough marine with me. I mean its not like I haven't seen you cry before. And I know you're a marine, but you're also human and."  
  
"Harm.stop it." Mac's tone left no room for doubt. She wasn't in the mood and if she let her guard down, she knew that would be it. She'd be nothing more than a puddle on the floor. Weakness was a fear of hers. She'd seen and experienced what being weak led to and she promised herself that she wouldn't live like that ever again. That's why she dried out and joined the Corps. It gave her that feeling of strength and invincibility. Yet even as a Lieutenant Colonel in the United States Marine Corps, she was still constantly fighting to keep the weak 'Sarah' side of herself at bay. She hated when it reared its ugly head. Harm was right.he had seen her cry.when the 'Sarah' side came through. She remembered when the poacher was attacking her and she'd killed him and freaked out about the blood, she remembered letting Dalton get to close and steal from her, letting his death and her stalker push her back to drinking. She remembered the tears she shed in Harm's office when he left JAG. And let's not forget Brumby in general.He really brought out the 'Sarah' in her. Everything about their relationship was the 'Sarah' in her. Then there were the tears she shed over Harm's crash.and the ones she shed standing in the rain outside his building as she watched him comfort Renee. And those were just the times that she could remember off the top of her head. In addition, of course, to last night.when she let a man, who she thought at the time was Harm, violate her in the worse way possible.  
  
"Mac..?" His gentle voice pulled her out of her thoughts.  
  
"YES! I'm sure I'm fine! I'm a Lieutenant Colonel in the United States Marine Corps. I can handle myself just fine. So if you don't knock it off, I'll have to show you by kicking your six! Did I make myself clear or do I need to spell it out for you?! I know you're a squid and all so basic English is hard to understand for you, so I.am.fine." She over annunciated the last part.  
  
Harm swallowed hard. "I.I.I was going to ask if I could turn back around yet."  
  
//Oh my god.okay now I feel stupid.// She thought. "Oh.yeah just a second." She tied the back of the gown and sat on the edge of the table feeling the blush creep across her cheeks. "Okay." She stared at the floor, hoping he wouldn't see how embarrassed she was. "I.sorry."  
  
Harm decided it was best to just ignore her little.okay not so little outburst. He slowly turned back to her. He just watched her. //So help the man that did this to her if I come into contact with him.// Harm knew he'd spend the rest of his life in Leavenworth for murder, but he honestly didn't care. //Whoever did this to my marine deserves to pay dearly.// His eyes widened at the thought. //Wait..*my* marine?! Where did that come from?//  
  
Mac looked up and saw an odd look in his eyes. "Harm?" Nothing. "Harm?" A little louder and still nothing.  
  
//My marine? She's not mine. At least not officially. But all that we've been through together. God.I really do.I lov.// A pillow smacking him brought him out of his mental confession. "Hey!" He chuckled and picked the pillow up from the floor. "That wasn't very nice, marine."  
  
"Well then don't zone out on me like that, squid boy. You were just staring at me. It's a bit freaky. You had a really odd look in your eyes." She took the pillow back and put it on the bed.  
  
He smiled faintly. "Sorry."  
  
"So.What were you thinking about?" She prodded gently.  
  
His smile faded, his gaze becoming serious. "Listen.I know that now really isn't the time, but if I don't say this now.I may never get up the nerve again." He stepped towards her. "Mac." He shook his head. "Sarah.I've thought about this a lot and I've never been more sure of anything."  
  
Mac stared at him. "Just say it Harm." //Please God let it be what I hope it is.//  
  
"Sarah, I lo."  
  
"I'm sorry for the wait, I know that it must've felt like eternity." The doctor said, studying the chart as she walked in.  
  
Mac sighed and slowly closed her eyes. "You have no idea." She murmured.  
  
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TBC 


	5. Part 5

From part 4:   
  
Part 5:  
  
Lt. Kingston looked up from her chart. "What was that?"  
  
"I was just agreeing." Mac said softly. She looked up at Harm and her heart dropped. She could tell that he had already put those walls back up. She watched as he backed up some, his arms crossing protectively across his chest.  
  
Mac simply nodded, not truly paying attention as Lt. Kingston described the things that were about to happen. "Do you have any questions?" Mac shook her head. "Okay. Do you want him to be in here while we do this?"  
  
Mac looked at Harm. He was always a source of strength for her, but did she really want him in the room through this? She studied him for a few moments. "Harm, can you just.wait outside the door?" That would give her some privacy as well as having him close enough to feel safe.  
  
He sighed inwardly. "Of course, Mac. Anything you want." He walked over and took her hand in his, giving it a gentle squeeze. "I'll be right outside. If you need me."  
  
She nodded. "I'll call for you if I do."  
  
Harm squeezed her hand once more before slowly leaving the room. She looked so.broken. Her eyes didn't have that sparkle. Even when she smiled, it was not the 'Sarah' smile.it was more of a 'I'll fake this smile and hopefully he'll buy it' kind of smile. He slid down against the wall right outside her room as images of earlier assaulted his senses. //How could anyone do something like that? And especially to her?// It took all his strength not to break down right then and there. She'd actually thought that he'd done it to her. //I could never do that to her. I love her. I'd sooner die than hurt her. I love her. I love everything about her. I love her smile, her laugh, her eyes. I love how she questions witnesses. I love how she aggravates me, how she challenges me, and how she supports me. I love every single thing about her. What would I do without her? I have to help her through this. And when she's stronger, I'll tell her how I feel. No more putting this off. I've come too close to losing her too many times.// With his newfound conviction, he pulled himself together. She needed him to be strong for her.  
  
((back in the room))  
  
Lt. Kingston concluded the examination. "I'll take these down and get the tests started. The police are on their way for a statement. You're not required to talk to the police, however, if you do decide to seek justice.you need to."  
  
Mac nodded. "Okay." She said softly.  
  
Lt. Kingston nodded. "Should I let the Commander back in?"  
  
She nodded again. "Yes..please."  
  
Lt. Kingston went into the hall. "You can go back in now sir."  
  
"Thank you, Lieutenant." Harm stood and went back into the room. "Hey you.how are you holding up?"  
  
Mac shrugged. "I'm okay."  
  
"The person that did this to you.they will pay. I can promise you that."  
  
"I know Harm." Mac said softly. "Thanks for being here for me."  
  
"I wouldn't be anywhere else, Mac. You are always there for me. I think its time that I return the favor." He smiled slightly.  
  
"Well, I really appreciate it."  
  
They both turned when they heard a knock on the door. "Sorry to interrupt. I'm Detective Marshall." A young woman said.  
  
"I'm Lieutenant Colonel Sarah Mackenzie and this is Commander Harmon Rabb Jr."  
  
She nodded. "Nice to meet you both. I wish it were under better circumstances. Are you prepared to give your statement?"  
  
Mac nodded. "Yes. Harm, can you..give us some time?"  
  
Harm nodded. "Yeah, I'll be right outside if you need me though." He gently squeezed her hand and went into the hall.  
  
"So, tell me what happened." Detective Marshall said gently. "Take your time and try to remember all that you can."  
  
Mac sighed softly and took a deep breath. "Okay." She closed her eyes and began to relive the night before  
  
TBC 


	6. Part 6

"If you think of anything else.call this number, anytime." Detective Marshall said, handing Mac a piece of paper.  
  
Mac nodded. "I will.thank you." She wiped away the tears that had fallen onto her cheeks.  
  
"And Sarah..if you want to go see someone.to talk or anything.I can give you a number of a wonderful therapist."  
  
Mac shook her head. "No thank you. That won't be necessary."  
  
"If you change your mind.let me know."  
  
"I will.is that all?"  
  
"Yeah." She nodded.  
  
"I'll tell the Commander to come back in?"  
  
Mac nodded. "Thank you."  
  
Detective Marshall went into the hall. "You can take her home whenever she's ready."  
  
"Thank you." He quickly made his way into the room and went straight to her, wrapping his arms around her. "Are you okay?"  
  
"I want to go home." She whispered.  
  
He nodded. "I'll take you."  
  
"Harm.do you think.I mean.is your couch available?"  
  
"My couch?"  
  
"Yeah.I just.don't really feel like being alone.. They gave me medication for the pain and its going to make me drowsy and I just."  
  
He nodded. "I understand completely and yes my bed is available."  
  
"Harm!" She said, surprised. "Listen, I didn't ask to stay with you so that we'd." His laughter cut her off.  
  
"I didn't mean that we'd share the bed. I meant you'd sleep there and I'd sleep on the couch. You're too sore for the couch."  
  
She blushed. "I.okay.."  
  
Harm smiled. "Let's get you home then." //It sounded so right.taking her 'home' to his home.//  
  
Mac gathered her clothes. "You want to wait in the hall? I'll be right out."  
  
He nodded and kissed her cheek before going out into the hall.  
  
Mac changed and went out into the hall. She felt his hand go straight to the small of her back as they made their way back out to the car. Harm helped her in, despite her protests that she was fine and could do it herself. He got into the drivers seat and put the car in gear. He felt her hand go overtop his on the gear shift and looked over at her. "You're safe with me. I'm not going to let him hurt you. I promise, Sa..Mac."  
  
She nodded. "I know..and Harm.call me whatever you'd like."  
  
A tiny smile crept across his face. Maybe they'd be okay after all.  
  
Mac's gaze drifted to the window. What she wouldn't give for a drink.She could almost feel the way it would burn her throat on the way down...feel the way it would make her numb. 


	7. Part 7

She nodded. "I know..and Harm.call me whatever you'd like."  
  
A tiny smile crept across his face. Maybe they'd be okay after all.  
  
Mac's gaze drifted to the window. What she wouldn't give for a drink.She could almost feel the way it would burn her throat on the way down...feel the way it would make her numb.  
  
PART 7  
  
"Do you want to go get some clothes and stuff?" Harm asked gently. "If you don't want to go back yet, I can probably find you some."  
  
She cut him off. "We can stop at my place."  
  
He nodded slightly. "If you're.."  
  
"Harm, I'm a Marine, not a baby."  
  
"I know you are, Mac, but you've."  
  
"Harm, I'm fine." She snapped.  
  
He nodded again. //If you say so.// He started towards her apartment.  
  
After a few minutes, she glanced over at him. "I'm sorry, Harm." She said very softly.  
  
He simply nodded. "Don't worry about it." He reached over and tucked her hair behind her ear.  
  
She offered him a very faint smile and looked back out the window.  
  
"We're going to find out who did this to you. He won't get away with hurting you, I can promise you that."  
  
"Don't make a promise that you can't keep." She said softly.  
  
"I never have." He pulled in front of her building and parked. He got out and went around, opening the door for her..  
  
She smiled faintly and shook her head before heading inside. They walked silently up and into her apartment. "I'll be just a few minutes.." She said softly before disappearing into her bedroom. She looked around at the uniform pieces haphazard thrown around and soon found it hard to breathe as images from the night before assaulted her senses.  
  
"Mac?" Harm called gently after not hearing anything for five minutes. "You okay in there?"  
  
She shook herself out of her thoughts and took a few breaths, pulling herself back together. She walked back into the living room. "Harm.I'll be fine here, its not as bad as I thought it would be."  
  
"Mac."  
  
"Really, Harm. I'll call you if I need anything." She watched the doubt in his eyes. "I promise, okay. If it gets bad, you'll be the first one I call."  
  
"But.."  
  
"Harm, don't argue with me. Please, I'm too tired for that."  
  
He nodded and walked over to her slowly. "I'm just a phone call away and I'll break land speed records to get here if you need me."  
  
Mac smiled faintly. "I have no doubt, but I'll be okay. I just need some rest." //And some vodka..//  
  
He nodded. "Okay, you take care of yourself, Marine."  
  
"I will, now get out of here so I can get a shower and some sleep." //And some vodka..//  
  
"Okay okay, I'm going." He laughed softly. "Night, ninja-girl." He leaned down and kissed her forehead.  
  
"Night, Flyboy." She walked him to the door.  
  
"Mac, I.."  
  
"Harm, I'll call if I need you..now get out of here." She laughed softly.  
  
He nodded and walked away slowly, hearing the dead bolt going into place. "Don't worry, I'll find however it was.and they'll pay." He mumbled to himself.  
  
Mac went to the window and watched as he drove away before dropping the façade. She grabbed her keys and headed to the ABC store down the road. //I just don't want to feel anymore. I don't want to see him and what he did when I close my eyes. I just want to be numb, totally and completely numb. There's nothing wrong with a few drinks, right?// She thought as she stood at the entrance to the store. She took a deep breathe and went inside. //How can I ever trust him again? When I look at him, I'll remember that night.// Her hands shook slightly as she picked up several bottles. She could see the look of disappointment in his eyes when she drank after Dalton's death. //He just.he can never know. He has to think that I'm okay.// She closed her eyes slowly. //I just need a few drinks.if I have that then I'll be fine..and I'll be able to stop at any time.//  
  
Again, Mac deadbolted the door and made her way to the kitchen, putting away all the bottles, but one. She carried the bottle of vodka through her bedroom to the bathroom and turned on the shower, the feeling of filth becoming stronger everytime she thought about the night before. She sat down on the floor of her shower, letting the water beat down on her still tender skin. Tears began to stream down her cheeks as opened the bottle and took a gulp, feeling the familiar burn as the alcohol made its way down her throat.  
  
MEANWHILE Harm's Apartment  
  
Harm sighed and walked into his loft. He picked up a photo of him and Mac and sank down onto the couch. He traced her features with his fingertips. "Please don't shut me out, Ninja-Girl..please." He closed his eyes. "Who would do this to you?" He kept picturing the fear in her eyes.the hurt and pain. //I can't believe she thought I'd hurt her.I'd NEVER hurt her. She has to know that.// He sighed and rested his head on the back of the couch. "Call me, let me help you get through this." He almost jumped out of his skin when his phone began to ring.  
  
TBC 


	8. Part 8

  
  
Harm sighed and walked into his loft. He picked up a photo of him and Mac and sank down onto the couch. He traced her features with his fingertips. "Please don't shut me out, Ninja-Girl..please." He closed his eyes. "Who would do this to you?" He kept picturing the fear in her eyes.the hurt and pain. //I can't believe she thought I'd hurt her.I'd NEVER hurt her. She has to know that.// He sighed and rested his head on the back of the couch. "Call me. Let me help you get through this." He almost jumped out of his skin when his phone began to ring.  
  
PART 8  
  
Harm leapt off the couch and ran for the phone. He had almost reached it when he found himself tripping and tumbling to the ground. "Shit," he groaned and pushed himself back up, kicking his attacker. "Damn suitcase." He grumbled and grabbed the phone. "Hello?" There was no answer. "Hello?" There was still no response. "Mac?"  
  
"Is this.Harmon Rabb Jr.?" A lady asked.  
  
"Yes?" Harm's heart started to pound. //Oh God, something happened to her.//  
  
"Hello, Mr. Rabb. This is a courtesy call. Are you happy with your long distance service?"  
  
"I.excuse me?" He shook his head. "My service is fine.don't call here again." He slammed the phone down and made his way back to the couch. He knelt down and picked up the picture of him and Mac that fell to the floor in his hurry to get to the phone. His heart almost stopped when he turned the picture over, revealing the shattered image of Sarah Mackenzie. When the picture fell, the glass protecting the photo broke, but only on her side of the picture. Harm slowly closed his eyes. //Whoever did this to her will pay.//  
  
MAC'S APARTMENT TWO HOURS LATER  
  
Mac sat on the floor of her shower, shivering uncontrollably, the bottle in her hand now half empty. The water had gotten cold awhile ago, although she couldn't say how long. In fact, she had no clue what time it was, the alcohol throwing off her internal clock. She took another gulp, her teeth chattering. Even now, she could still feel his weight on top of her, she could still see the hate in his eyes, smell his sweat, feel his hot breath on her skin.She shuddered and took yet another gulp, gradually feeling the numbing sensation taking over.  
  
She slowly stood up and turned off the water before heading into her bedroom, bottle in hand. She pulled on a pair of pajamas and went to the living room, curling up on the couch. She sat in the dark, her blanket wrapped tightly around her. She wanted to run to Harm, but how could she? Every time she saw him, the only thing she could think about was the night before. And even if she could get over that, if he found out that she'd turned to alcohol.she didn't want to see that look in his eyes.  
  
The phone ringing pulled her out of her thoughts, but she let it continue to ring until the machine picked up.  
  
"Mac, it's me." Harm's voice came over the line. "Please pick up. Just let me know you're okay? Don't shut me out. Let me help you, please. Mac.pick up." He's silent for a few moments. "Okay, well, maybe you're getting some sleep or something. Call me.I don't care what time it is. I'm here for you. You don't have to go through this alone." He says softly and hangs up.  
  
Mac took another large gulp, her eyes filling with tears. She wanted to let him in, but she just couldn't. She took another gulp before setting the bottle aside and curling up, letting herself fall into an alcohol induced sleep, too numb to dream.  
  
MEANWHILE HARM'S APARTMENT  
  
Harm sighed softly and hung the phone back up. He knew she wouldn't pick up, but a part of him still hoped that she would. That she'd reach out to him. He lay back on the bed, staring up at the ceiling. //What if that creep got her pregnant? She doesn't remember if whoever it was used anything. If he did and if she is.and wants to keep it, how would we get through it? Every time she looks at me, they're that slight hesitation, like she's trying to make sure she's safe. But, I know if she's let me.I'd be there for her. But seeing as she's already pushing me away, I highly doubt she'd turn to me for support.//  
  
He sighed softly and flipped over onto his stomach, burying his face into the pillow. //Something's really wrong, I can feel it.// He allowed himself to fall into a light sleep, ready to answer the phone immediately should she call. 


	9. Part 9

PART 9  
  
NEXT MORNING HARM'S APARTMENT  
  
Harm slept uneasily throughout the night. At 0500, he finally gave up the fight and got out of bed. He laid his uniform out and took the phone with him to the bathroom so he could get to it quickly on the off-chance that she'd call.  
  
He stepped under the hot spray of the shower and tried futilely to let it soothe him. //I should've been able to protect her. //He sighed and leaned back against the shower wall. //She doesn't deserve this, she's been through so much in her life as it is.//  
  
Thirty minutes later, the alarm clock going off in the bedroom pulled Harm out of his thoughts. He turned off the water and got out. He dried off and carried the phone into the bedroom, sitting down on the edge of the bed as he dialed the familiar number. "Come on, Mac, please pick up."  
  
SAME TIME MAC'S APARTMENT  
  
Mac sighed as her phone began to ring. She knew it was him. She wouldn't expect anything less from him. She considered not answering, but the incessant ringing was making her head pound more than it already was. She picked it up slowly. ".Good morning, Harm."  
  
"Mac, um, hey. I really didn't think that you'd answer."  
  
Mac sighed softly. "If you didn't think I'd answer, they why did you bother calling?"  
  
"Well, I guess, I was just hoping." He shrugged. "How are you holding up?" He asked gently.  
  
"I'm still a little bit sore, but I'm okay."  
  
"Are you sure? I mean, you've been through a lot and no one would think less of you if you weren't."  
  
"Harm, stop it. I'm fine, really I am."  
  
"If you say so, but if you're not, you can talk to me. I'm here for you."  
  
"I'll keep that in mind." She said softly.  
  
"Thank you. I, um, tried to call you last night." He said tentatively.  
  
"Sorry, I must've already been asleep." She lied.  
  
"Oh, well, did you sleep okay?"  
  
"Yeah, my shower did me a lot of good. I slept through the night without a problem." She hated lying to him, but she couldn't tell him the truth. She couldn't let him know how weak she was.  
  
"Well, that's good." He said softly. //Something about her tone is really off.// "Do you need anything? I could stop by before or after work or I'm sure that I can get a long lunch break and bring you something to eat?"  
  
"Well, that's really thoughtful of you, but I'm planning on going to work today."  
  
"Mac, no. You should really take some time off. The Admiral will understand."  
  
"Take some time off for what, Harm?! So that I can sit here and relive every second of it over and over? What the hell good does that do? I'm perfectly able to do my job, Harm."  
  
"I'm not saying that you're not." He said softly. "But, maybe you should take some time and get some professional help or something."  
  
"I'm not crazy, Harm."  
  
"I didn't say that you were. And I don't think that you are. But, Sarah, you've been through something very traumatic. A therapist may be able to help you heal and get past it."  
  
"Harm, listen to me. I appreciate your concern, I really do, but I'm fine. So, I'll see you at work, okay?"  
  
"Can you at least consider it, please? At least take today off and let your body heal." He pleaded.  
  
Mac sighed softly. "I'll consider it, okay?"  
  
Harm nodded. "Okay, thanks." He said softly. "And if you do stay home and you need anything, even if it's just to talk, call me?"  
  
"I will, Harm, bye." She said softly and hung up. She sighed and ran her fingers through her hair before getting up and taking her pain medication.  
  
HARM'S APARTMENT  
  
Harm slowly placed the receiver back onto the cradle. He knew she wasn't okay no matter how many times she claimed to be. He knew her too well to believe that. He went into auto pilot as he got ready and drove to work, his mind on one thing and one thing only, Sarah Mackenzie.  
  
He pulled into his spot and sighed in relief. //Her car isn't here. Maybe she listened and stayed home.// He relaxed slightly and went inside, going straight to his office and getting ready for the day.  
  
However, his relief was short lived. At the last minute, he caught sight of Mac as she made her way through the bullpen and into her office. He sighed softly. "Damn it, Marine, why can't you just listen to me for once?" He muttered.  
  
He shook his head and tried to ignore the urge to run to her side and take her into his arms. She obviously wanted space right now and crowding her would only tick her off and make her push him away even further. He buried his face in his hands. //Of all the people, why her?//  
  
He managed to keep himself busy until lunchtime. He stood, stretching slightly and gathered his confidence before going over to her office and knocking lightly on the door.  
  
Mac sighed softly. She didn't even have to look up to know that it was him. "Enter." She called reluctantly.  
  
Harm opened the door and stepped in tentatively. "Hey, Ninja-girl, you busy?"  
  
She nodded. "I'm playing catch-up from yesterday."  
  
"Ah, well, you want to take a break and go grab a bit to eat with a squid?" He offered a smile.  
  
She looked up. "I'd like to, but I already have plans. Sorry, rain check?"  
  
His breath caught, she really didn't look good. Her eyes seemed so.dead. They had none of the sparkle that he has used to seeing. "Um, yeah okay, sure." He nodded.  
  
"And yes, I'm fine. So you can stop babysitting me."  
  
"I'm not, I'm just..."  
  
"Harm, is that all you wanted to ask?"  
  
"Yeah." He said softly. "Well, no, are you busy for dinner?"  
  
"I'm planning on working later and then going home and taking a bubble bath and heading to bed."  
  
"Well..." He gave her his best 'flyboy' grin. "Care for some company?"  
  
She couldn't help but laugh. "That's very tempting."  
  
He grinned more. "Is it tempting enough? I'll feed you dead animal.give you a nice massage and even sit through a chick flick."  
  
"Harm, another rain check? That definitely sounds wonderful, but I've got a lot of work to do and I'm going to be exhausted so."  
  
He nodded, his smile fading slightly. "Sure, well, do you need anything? Coffee? A snack?"  
  
"Thanks, but I'm fine."  
  
He nodded again. "Well, I'll let you get back to work then. I'll see you later?"  
  
"Sure."  
  
He turned and headed back to his office. //At least she laughed a bit. That's a good sign, right?//  
  
Mac got her purse and cover and headed out to 'lunch' at McMurphy's. She sat down at the bar. "Vodka tonic, please."  
  
TBC 


	10. Part 10

((Sorry this took so long))  
  
PART 10  
  
After finishing her second drink, Mac could feel the buzz. She paid her tab and headed back to JAG, running right into Harm.  
  
"Hey, watch where you're going, Jarhead." He teased.  
  
"I.sorry." She mumbled and moved around him.  
  
"Did you have a good lunch?"  
  
"Hm? Oh yeah, it was nice." She rushed into her office before he could hear or smell the alcohol on her.  
  
Harm sighed softly as he watched her shut her door. "Don't shut me out.please." He whispered and headed back into his office.  
  
LATER THAT DAY  
  
Mac packed up her stuff and headed to her apartment, not saying goodbye to anyone. She immediately went to the kitchen and poured herself an extremely generous portion of vodka before plopping down on the couch. She took a long sip, almost sighing in relief when she felt the liquor burn its way down her throat.  
  
Silent tears drifted down her cheeks and she angrily wiped them away and took another large gulp. She'd missed the numb feeling that it gave her. After several more drinks on an empty stomach, she passed out on the couch, the alcohol keeping her safe from her nightmares.  
  
HARM'S LOFT  
  
Harm sat on the edge of the bed, holding the phone in his hand. She'd blown him off for lunch and dinner and then didn't bother to as much as wave goodbye when she went home. He took a deep breath and pushed the speed dial, the button almost worn out from the number of times he'd used it over the years. He impatiently fidgeted as he waited for her to pick up. "Come on. Please pick up." He pleaded.  
  
"Hi, you've reached Mac. Leave me a message and I'll get back to you as soon as I can."   
  
"Damn." He grumbled and hung up disappointed, but not surprised. She was making it painfully obvious that she wanted to be alone. He lay back on the bed. "Don't do this, Mac. You're not alone."  
  
TWO WEEKS LATER HARM'S LOFT  
  
Harm once more held the phone in his hands. And once again, she didn't answer. He sighed and shook his head, thinking back over the past two weeks. He'd ask her if she wanted to do things several times a day, and every time, she'd come up with some flimsy excuse, say "I'll take a rain check, Harm" and rush off.  
  
And he couldn't help but notice all the other changes in her. The sparkle in her eyes was completely gone. When she smiled, it was always forced and the very few times she laughed, it was hollow sounding. Her normally impeccable appearance was gone. The only makeup she wore was concealer and foundation to cover the dark circles under her eyes and her uniform was wrinkled and sloppy. She'd also seemed to have lost weight. Not only that, but she was constantly late and even in court, her arguments were half-hearted and she seemed to have trouble concentrating. She never answered her phone, yet it was obvious she was home. She didn't go out with the staff anymore. Hell, she didn't even talking to anyone and when she did, she snapped at them and it was only work related. Everyday, she seemed worse than the day before and it got to the point that she didn't keep her door or her blinds open.  
  
Harm shook his head and sighed. "This is ridiculous." He put the phone back on the hook and grabbed his coat, keys and wallet. "You're not going to self-destruct, I won't let you." He said softly as he drove to the Chinese place near her apartment. He ordered all of her favorites before heading across the street to the florist. He then drove the short distance to her apartment, Chinese and a dozen red roses in the seat beside him.  
  
Harm took a deep breathe and knocked on her door. "Mac, it's me." When she didn't come he knocked again. "I know you're home. I saw your car." He pressed his ear to the door to see if he could hear any movement inside.  
  
TBC 


	11. Part 11

PART 11  
  
Mac sighed and got up. //If I don't let him in, he'll use his key and come in anyway.// She rinsed out her mouth with mouth wash and opened the door after making sure there was no visible evidence of alcohol.  
  
Harm gasped in surprise as he fell into her, the food and flowers crushing between them.  
  
Mac stumbled backwards and tried to regain her balance.  
  
"Oh, um, hey, Mac." Harm said a bit flustered as he helped steady her. "I'm sorry about that. I um, brought food?" He smiled slightly, holding up the wrinkled bag. "You haven't eaten yet right?"  
  
"Harm, listen, I'm really tired. A rain check?"  
  
"Mac, lately you've had enough rain checks for a monsoon." He tilted her face up, his eyes pleaded with her to not turn him away. "I miss you. Please and um, these are for you." He held up the flowers. "I'm glad I paid a little more to get the no thorn ones." He gave her his fly boy grin.  
  
She stared into the eyes she loved so dearly. "I.okay." She nodded. "Come on in. They're beautiful, but the way. Thank you." She moved out of the way and hung up his coat. "You know where everything is, so make yourself at home and I'll be right back."  
  
"What do you want to drink?"  
  
//Vodka!// She said in her head. "I think there are a couple cokes in the refrigerator." She went back to the bedroom and brushed her hair.  
  
//She really doesn't look good.// Harm shook his head. //At least she didn't turn me away.// He went to the kitchen and got plates, silverware and their drinks and set the table before going back to the kitchen to find a vase.  
  
Mac rinsed her mouth again, trying to rid her of the smell of vodka.  
  
Harm opened the cabinet under the sink and froze, his eyes falling upon the numerous bottles of half-drank liquor. //She.Oh God. That explains everything.//  
  
TBC 


	12. Part 12

PART 12  
  
Mac pinned her hair back off her face and headed towards the kitchen. "So, Flyboy, am I supposed to tip you for the delivery?" She smiled faintly. Hearing no response, she continued into the kitchen where she stopped dead in her tracks. "Harm.." She said tentatively.  
  
"You've.been drinking again?" It was more a statement of disbelief than a question.  
  
"I.wait, what the hell are you doing going through my cabinets?!" She screamed and slammed the cabinet shut.  
  
"I was looking for a vase for the roses." He stood up. "You told me to make myself at home, but this isn't about me. Why is all that liquor here?"  
  
"You're a smart boy, Commander. I'm sure you can figure that one out." She said bitterly.  
  
"Mac." He sighed. "I know you're hurting, but, why go back to drinking. I mean, there are so many people that care about you. You're not alone now. You could've come to us."  
  
"You know what? Get the hell out of my apartment. I don't have to answer to you. As you pointed out once, this isn't a marriage."  
  
"No, it isn't. But you and I are best friends, Sarah and I'm not going anywhere. I've let you push me away for the past two weeks and look where its gotten you."  
  
"Well, I'm sorry, but you don't really have a choice in the matter. Get out!"  
  
"No." He shook his head. "I'm going to help you through this."  
  
"I don't need you. The only men I need are Jim, Jack, Johnny Red, Johnny Black and Jose and they're all in the cabinet." She turned and went to get his coat.  
  
Harm took a deep calming breath and got the bottles, pouring their contents down the drain.  
  
"What the hell do you think you're doing?" Mac hissed as she rushed back into the kitchen.  
  
"I'm helping you." He said calmly.  
  
"You weren't there to stop him. That's when I needed you. But, I don't need your help now."  
  
"I." He walked to her a slowly and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. "I know I wasn't there and I'm so sorry, Sarah. But, I'm here now and I'm going to help you get through this. You've worked too hard for too long to throw it all away because of some sick bastard."  
  
"Don't touch me!" She pushed him away, his closeness and tenderness slowly breaking down her resolve.  
  
"Sarah, come to me."  
  
Anger flared up in her chocolate brown eyes. "Why?! So you can turn me away again?! Send me away to cry in the street while you comfort someone else?!"  
  
"I.I thought that you understood. Mac, I wanted to be there for you, but Renee's father."  
  
"Shove it up your ass, Commander! I don't want to hear it. What I want is for you to get out before I have to kick your six."  
  
"Do what you need to do, but I'm not leaving." He pulled her gently into his arms. "I'm here for you, Sarah."  
  
She began to pound his chest angrily. "Get your hands off me! I hate you! Just leave me alone!"  
  
Harm grimaced in pain, but simply pulled her closer, wrapping his arms around her waist.  
  
Tears began to stream down her cheeks and her hits became lighter until she finally crumbled into him, clinging desperately. "I.I just can't stop thinking about.I can still see him and smell him and.feel him." She sobbed softly.  
  
"I know, Sarah." He said gently as he held her protectively to him, slowly stroking her soft hair. He rested his lips again the top of her head.  
  
"I.I."  
  
"Shhh, its okay." He picked her up carefully and carried her to the couch where he sat down with her in his lap. "How can I help you? I'll do anything. Well, anything but walk away." He smiled faintly.  
  
"Just, um, keep holding me?" She asked very softly.  
  
"Of course." He held her. //She sounds so broken and so fragile.// "Get some rest, Sarah. I'm not going to let anyone hurt you. I promise."  
  
"Don't make a promise you can't keep."  
  
"I haven't yet." He smiled faintly and laid down, pulling her gently with him.  
  
"What about the Chinese?" Mac asked as she settled down on top of him.  
  
"Its better reheated anyway." He pulled the afghan off the back of the couch and draped it over them.  
  
"Thank you." She whispered.  
  
"I'll always be here for you."  
  
She nodded slightly and drifted to sleep slowly, feeling safe and loved in his arms.  
  
"I love you." He whispered once he heard her breathing even out and deepen. "Now I just have to find the right time.and the nerve to tell you that when you're awake." He chuckled softly and soon drifted into a light sleep, his arms still tightly around her.  
  
TBC 


	13. Part 13

AUTHOR NOTE: I might be putting 'Ticking Clock' and 'Harm-Ful Encounter' into the two fanfic awards going on right now. And yep, that means I'm going to have Harm-Ful done and posted soon Yay! At which point, I'll work on a sequel for both stories. Anyway, the point of this note, I need beta people to read all the parts of both stories and give me feedback so that I can get them ready for submission. Thanks so much for the help  
  
Part 13  
  
NEXT MORNING 0600  
  
When Mac woke up, she realized she was moving. She looked around and soon recognized the inside of Harm's SUV. She rubbed her eyes and sat up, stretching slightly.  
  
"Morning, sleeping beauty." Harm smiled as he drove.  
  
He was awarded with a groan. "Where are we going?" Her head was pounding.  
  
"My Grams is out of town, so I'm taking you up to the far for a few days."  
  
"We can't do that, Harm. We've got work."  
  
"I talked to the Admiral this morning. We're both on leave."  
  
"What?!" She cringed as her head began to pound even more.  
  
"Mac, you need to dry out and I already told you that I'm not going anywhere. Besides, I've wanted to take you up to the farm fro awhile now." He smiled slightly.  
  
"That's nice, Harm, but I really wish you wouldn't have called him. You knowing is one thing, but him knowing is something else entirely.  
  
"I didn't mention the drinking, Mac. You were hurt and its been obvious that you're not as okay as you claim to be. He noticed that and he knows me. He knows that until I know you're okay, I'm pretty much useless around the office. So, he gladly gave us the time off."  
  
"Oh." She said softly.  
  
"Try to sleep, Mac. It'll make the trip go by easier."  
  
She nodded and laid back down. Soon her breathing deepened and evened out.  
  
Harm smiled faintly and turned the radio on just loud enough for him to hear it and stay alert. He hoped that he'd be able to get to the farm before she started to get bad. "We'll get through this, Sarah." He whispered.  
  
THREE HOURS LATER Bellville, Pennsylvania  
  
Harm couldn't help but smile as they neared the farm. There was just something so peaceful about this place..the curvy dirt roads that took you through mountains and trees.the fact you had to be careful or you'd hit a deer.the soft blanket of undisturbed snow. He sighed happily and pulled up at the old farm house. He got out and stretched a bit. He wouldn't be surprised if they saw quite a bit of snow in the next couple of days.  
  
He shrugged off his bomber jacket and opened the back door. He wrapped his jacket around Mac's sleeping form and carefully scooped her up into his arms as she shivered and snuggled into him tightly to keep warm. He kicked the door shut with his foot and carried her inside, careful not to slip on the thin layer of ice that had collected on the stairs. He set her down in a chair and pulled out the bed from the couch. He made it up and then knelt my her, gently removing her shoes. He got a towel and brought it over. He took a moment to commit her image to his mind. There were snowflakes on her hair and eyelashes, making her look like an angel. He smile and carefully dried her off before picking her up again and laying her gently on the mattress. He tucked her in before turning to the fire. After a few minutes, it roared to life and he headed out to the car. He retrieved the bag he packed her and his seabag and went back inside. He kicked off his shoes and took off his now wet shirt and slipped under the covers beside her. It would be awhile before the rest of the house heated up any so he pulled her gently into his arms so they could share body heat. He couldn't help but notice how perfectly her body fit against his. He softly kissed her forehead and drifted to sleep. 


	14. Part 14

Part 14  
  
Harm was woken up by the sound of Mac getting sick. He quickly rushed to the bathroom and held her hair back.  
  
Mac finally sat back, whimpering slightly. "The fun.starts." She offers a weak smile.  
  
He tucked her hair behind her ear before helping her to her feet. "I can go find you some ginger ale or something?"  
  
"That would be nice." A faint smile graced her features.  
  
"Okay then." After helping her back into bed and tucking her in, Harm went to the kitchen. Luckily, Grams was a fan of ginger ale and always had some around. He got her a glass and a wet washcloth and returned to the bed. Sitting on the edge, he handed her the glass and placed the washcloth on the back of her neck.  
  
"Thanks." She tried to take a sip but her hands began to shake and ginger ale splashed out of the glass. "Damnit." She mumbled.  
  
Harm reached over and placed his hands lightly over hers, stilling them and helping her to guide the glass to her lips. "There you go. We'll get through this. I'll help you any way that I can."  
  
"The next few days aren't going to be much fun."  
  
"Hey, I went through field training, I think I'll manage." He smiled. "Get some rest."  
  
Mac shivered slightly and snuggled farther under the covers, a thin layer of sweat causing her skin to glisten in the fire light. She slowly drifted back off with Harm lying beside her.  
  
TWO HOURS LATER  
  
Harm was again woken up by the sound of dry heaving. He ran to her and began to gently rub her back.  
  
"Harm," she whimpered, "if you care about me at all, get me a drink."  
  
Harm stared down into her pleading eyes. "I do care about you, but I'm here to help you."  
  
"Harm, please. I don't ask for much from you. But stop making me suffer. Just one drink."  
  
"No, Mac, because it won't be just one and it won't stop the suffering it'll just postpone it and make it worse."  
  
"You said you cared!" She pushed him away roughly, causing her to get dizzy.  
  
"I do care, Sarah. I care more than I could ever say. And that's why I won't help you destroy yourself. You're going to get up and brush yourself back off and then get back on the wagon."  
  
"You are such an arrogant, bastard! How the hell do you think you are!? You have no right to tell me what to do. And fine if you won't get me a drink, I'll just have to get it myself." She pulled herself to her feet and made a dash for the front door, stumbling and weaving. She felt his arms encircle her waist right before he picked her up and flipped her over his shoulder. "LET GO!" She screamed, kicking and pounding against his back.  
  
He simply shook his head and carried her to the bed, laying her back down. He held her down with his weight. "I'll never let go." He said softly. When Mac couldn't get up, panic filled her eyes and her breathing became labored. "Please don't hurt me. I'm so sorry, Harm.I'm so sorry. I'll be good. I promise. Just please don't hurt me." 


	15. Part 15

Part 15  
  
Harm could feel his heart breaking. He quickly let her go and backed away. "Mac, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to.I'm sorry. I'd never hurt you. I promise you that. Oh Mac, I could never do what he did. Never."  
  
Mac nodded slightly, her heartbeat and breathing slowly returning to normal. "I know you wouldn't. Deep down I do. I just, he looked so much like you. And I..." Tears began to stream down her cheeks.  
  
Tentatively, Harm made his way back to her and opened his arms to her.  
  
Mac studied him for a moment before practically launching herself into his waiting embrace. "I was so scared that night, Harm. And I can still see him and feel him and.smell him." She swallowed hard. "He was so cruel and so rough. It hurt so badly." She sobbed, her face buried against his chest. "I just wanted to stop feeling. Harm, it felt so good to just be numb. And one drink turned into four and four turned into eight and before I knew it, I was drinking all the time. I'd have a couple before work, a few at lunch, and then I'd start as soon as I got home and I'd keep drinking until I just passed out."  
  
Harm stayed silent, gently rubbing her back and rocking her slightly.  
  
"I thought that I'd be okay, that I could get through it and then stop drinking, but, I can't do either. It's all still there when I close my eyes. I can't even go into my room at night and I can't sleep with the lights off. I'm stared to live in my own home."  
  
"You could've come to me, Sarah." Harm said gently.  
  
"I know, Harm, but I thought that I'd be okay. I really did. And I didn't want you to see me like that. I'm a marine, I can't be weak."  
  
"Mac," Harm tilted her chin up so her eyes met his. "Yes, you're a marine, but you're also a woman and a human being. No one deserves to have that happen to them. And you shouldn't be going through this alone." He watched her nod slightly, her tears slowing. "So, we're going to get you sober and then I'll take you home. I'll stay with you as long as you need me to and we can find you someone to help you deal with what happened. How's that sound?"  
  
Again, she nodded. "Thank you, Harm. I can't tell you how much this all means to me. You're going above and beyond the call of a best friend."  
  
"That's because." He took a deep breath. "Mac, in my eyes, you're not just my best friend. You're my world. You're everything."  
  
Mac laughed softly. "And you're full of it,"  
  
"Mac." He groaned. "Will you just let me finish?"  
  
"Sorry, go ahead." She smiled faintly.  
  
"What I'm saying is, the reason I can't let go.I love you, Sarah."  
  
Her eyes widened, her mouth dropping open slightly. "You.you really...you mean that?" She stammered.  
  
"I wouldn't say it if I didn't mean it."  
  
A smile slowly spread across her face. "I love you too, Harm."  
  
He hugged her to him. "Only took us seven years to say it." He chuckled softly.  
  
"Um, Harm, don't take this the wrong way." She got up and rushed to the bathroom, hearing Harm follow her in.  
  
"I'll try not to take it personal." He smiled faintly and gently rubbed her back. "Right now we just need to get you better and then we can worry about us, okay?"  
  
She nodded and sat back slowly after flushing the toilet.  
  
"I'll give you all the time you need. You're worth the wait."  
  
A playful groan escaped her. "Now that's love. You sitting here, being charming while I pray to the porcelain God."  
  
"You're still the most beautiful thing I've ever laid my eyes on."  
  
"Oh God." She laughed weakly. "You really are full of it."  
  
"Hey, I can't help it. I call them like I see them."  
  
Still smiling, she rolled her eyes and got up slowly, immediately feeling his hand go to the small of her back. She rinsed out her mouth and slowly made her way back to the bed.  
  
"Do you want something to eat?" If looks could kill, he'd be a dead man. "Okay, just kidding."  
  
"One, I've been throwing up all day and two, I'm not hungry anyway." She shrugged slightly and got under the covers. "Its all a part of it. I lost a ton of weight at Red Rock Mesa when I dried out last time."  
  
He nodded and laid down beside her, playing idly with her hair. "If that changes, let me know and I'll make whatever you want."  
  
"Even a big juicy greasy bacon cheeseburger?" She smirked.  
  
"Yeah, even that." He groaned playfully. "The things we do for the woman we love." He shook his head. "Get some rest, Jarhead."  
  
"Yes, sir." She smiled faintly and slowly drifted to sleep. It wasn't long before the dreams hit full force. She tossed and turned, whimpering as tears flowed down her cheeks.  
  
"Mac.hey, wake up." Harm gently touched her cheek. //She's so clammy.// He thought. "Sarah, open your eyes, come on. You're okay, no one's hurting you."  
  
Mac jolted awake. "No!" She screamed and grabbed him, flipping him over and off the bed. She heard the thud and groan as he landed. 


	16. Part 16

Part 16  
  
Harm groaned softly and sat up slowly, rubbing his back. He stood. "You okay?" He asked gently.  
  
"Stay the hell away from me." She hissed, backing away from him and off the other side of the bed.  
  
"Mac? What's going on?" He cautiously moved around the end of the bed and began to go to her.  
  
"Stay back!"  
  
"Mac, it's me. I'm not going to hurt you. I'd never hurt you." He saw recognition slowly appear in her eyes as the flashbacks slipped away.  
  
"Harm?" She hated herself for how small and scared her voice sounded.  
  
He nodded. "Yeah, its me." He saw her shoulders and facial features relax. "Bad dreams?"  
  
"Yes." She said softly and moved towards him. "Did I hurt you?"  
  
"I'll live." He smiled faintly.  
  
"I'm sorry, Harm."  
  
"Hey, you have nothing to apologize for. You've done nothing wrong. You made a mistake by turning to alcohol to deal with it, but that's a mistake that I'm here to help you fix. Okay?"  
  
"Thank you, Harm."  
  
"You'd do the same for me in a heartbeat."  
  
A faint smile crept across her face. "Yeah, I would."  
  
"Well, of course." Harm grinned.  
  
"Harm, I said that I would." Mac snapped. "And wipe that damn grin off your face, it's infuriating."  
  
Harm's eyes widened, his smile disappearing quickly. "What?"  
  
"What? Are you deaf all the sudden?" Her eyes bore into him.  
  
"Power down, Marine."  
  
"Don't tell me what to do!"  
  
Harm opened his mouth to speak, but then just shook his head and retreated to the kitchen to make himself a sandwich. He sighed softly and took a few calming breaths.  
  
"Harm?" Her soft voice came from right behind him. "I'm sorry. I really don't know where that came from. Forgive me?"  
  
He could hear the smile in her voice and turned around to face her. "Of course." //Okay.so she was pissed and now she's happy?//  
  
"Is there anything sweet around?"  
  
"You mean besides you?" There was the flyboy grin.  
  
Mac playfully rolled her eyes. "Harm, I'm nauseas enough as it is."  
  
He chuckled. "Sorry, shutting my mouth." He got her some homemade candy. "Here you go."  
  
Mac pushed herself up onto the counter and began to eat the candy, trying to control her shaking hands.  
  
"How are you feeling?" He asked, tucking her hair behind her ear.  
  
"My head is pulsing and I'm exhausted but I can't sleep well." She continued to eat the candy, her hands slowly beginning to still.  
  
"You look pale."  
  
"Gee, thanks." Mac laughed softly. "You look great too."  
  
He smiled and shook his head, gently touching her cheek. "Mac, you're hot."  
  
"Wow. Nice recovery, Flyboy." Mac smiled.  
  
"What? Oh!" He chuckled. "Well, you are, but that isn't what I meant. I meant you're burning up." He pressed his lips gently to her forehead. "You have a fever, Mac. Go lay down."  
  
"I'm." She was cut of by his fingertips against her lips.  
  
"Go."  
  
She nodded slightly and slid off the counter, stopping for a moment when she became light-headed.  
  
"Are you alright?"  
  
"Yeah, I just stood too quickly." She walked slowly to the bed and crawled under the covers.  
  
Harm got a washcloth, wet it, got a couple Tylenol and a bottle of water and took it to her. "Take these." When she did, he placed the washcloth over her forehead. "Get some rest. I'll be here, so no one is going to hurt you." He watched as her eyelids grew heavier as did her breathing. Once he knew she was asleep, he pulled the covers up, tucking her in carefully. "Sleep well, Sarah." He whispered and kissed her lips lightly before taking a seat in the chair to keep watch over her. 


	17. Part 17

Part 17  
  
0930 NEXT MORNING (Sunday) THE FARM  
  
The sunlight streaming into the room pulled Harm from his not so restful sleep. He groaned softly as he rubbed his sore neck.  
  
"You didn't have to sleep over there. I'm sure your back must be killing you."  
  
Harm jumped slightly, her voice startling him. "Not as much as being flipped onto the floor again." He smiled over at her. "How long have you been awake?" He asked as he moved over, gently touching her forehead. "It feels like your temperature has gone back to normal, how are you feeling?" He was greeted by her soft laughter.  
  
"Okay, Mr. Inquisitive. I've been awake for thirty minutes and twenty four seconds. My head feels much better and I don't feel too nauseas anymore."  
  
"Sorry. I just worry about you."  
  
"I know. And I just like to give you a hard time." She smirked faintly.  
  
"Well, you must be feeling better." He groaned playfully.  
  
She got up and made her way over to the window. "Wow, I haven't seen this much snow in.come to think of it, I don't know that I've ever seen this much snow." She hugged herself. "You know.it's kind of ironic. People call it a 'blanket of snow', yet it's so cold and blankets are meant to keep you warm." She murmured. "This snow is like the naivety of a young child. It's so pure and undisturbed. There are no blemishes and no footprints from being stepped on by everyone and everything. There's no discoloration.just pure white. And all too soon, the sun comes out and melts away that protection and leaves the ground vulnerable." Memories of her own troubled childhood flooded back to her. There was no protection for her. She jumped when she felt his arms encircle her waist.  
  
"Sorry." He murmured and went to release her.  
  
"No, it isn't you." She put her arms over his and leaned back into him, smiling faintly when he rested his chin on the top of her head.  
  
They stood like that for hours, letting the closeness relax them both. It wasn't until Harm felt her stomach grumble under his hands that he snapped out of the trance. "Is that my cue, Jarhead?" He teased.  
  
She smiled a bit shyly. "I haven't been eating much for the past two weeks."  
  
"Then what can I get you, m' lady?"  
  
She turned and graced him with a brilliant smile. "What are my options?"  
  
He kissed the tip of her nose. "I don't know, let's go see." His hand slid down to hers, their fingers lacing together as he led her to the kitchen. "How about a frozen pizza?"  
  
"That all depends.what's on it?"  
  
He chuckled. "Pepperoni."  
  
"Then that sounds good." She sat down at the table and picked up the box on the table. "Boggle?" She laughed softly.  
  
"Grams likes to keep her mind sharp." He chuckled. "You wanna play while we wait on this? There isn't that much else to do around here, especially in the snow."  
  
"Sure. Any chance to kick your six sounds good to me."  
  
"Oh, I see." He smiled and got them each paper and a pencil as she got the game ready. "That sounds like a challenge to me."  
  
"Not a challenge for me at all." She grinned.  
  
"Yeah, you're definitely feeling better." He shook his head.  
  
Mac took of the top and flipped the timer. She studied the letters, trying to shake away the slight haze that seemed to have settled over her mind. She tapped the eraser of the pencil on the table and bounced her leg.  
  
His eyes lifted to her. "You okay?"  
  
"Yeah, stop trying to break my concentration." She smiled faintly.  
  
He reached across the table, placing his hand over hers. "Relax."  
  
Her eyes met his. "Sorry." She murmured. "I just can't seem to sit still."  
  
"It's okay."  
  
Mac almost leapt out of her seat when she heard a loud pop. "He's.he's come to get me." She stood up. "I'm not safe anywhere. I have to get out of here." She made a dash for the door, only to feel his arms around her.  
  
"Mac, that was the heat kicking in. This place is pretty old and can be pretty noisy." He felt her relax slightly. "I'm not going to let him hurt you again. I'll keep you safe."  
  
"You promise?" She asked softly.  
  
"I promise." His voice was confident and left no room for doubt.  
  
A tiny smile appeared on her tired face. "Don't make a promise you can't keep."  
  
He returned the small smile. "I haven't yet." He felt her jump again as the timer on the stove went off. "Pizza's ready." He said gently and led her back to the kitchen.  
  
They sat, eating in a companionable silence. Mac began to relax more, no longer jumping at every noise. Harm's voice broke the silence. "How's your stomach holding up?" He asked as she finished off her slice.  
  
"So far so good, but I think I'm going to just stick with the one slice just in case."  
  
He nodded. "So, want to go play in the snow?" He asked, giving her his best flyboy grin.  
  
"Harmon Rabb, how old are we?" Mac laughed, shaking her head.  
  
"Well, Marine, if you're scared." He lifted an eyebrow. She rolled her eyes. "Okay, let's go."  
  
They both got bundled up and headed outside. Harm felt a cold ball of snow strike the back of his head. "Starting something, Marine?" He smiled back at her.  
  
"Semper fi." She grinned. "And I'm just trying to knock some sense into that head of yours."  
  
"Hey, I finally got my act together and told you that I loved you. I'd say I have plenty of sense, thank you very much."  
  
Mac laughed. "Some people would argue that falling for a marine means the opposite, but if you say so." She threw another snowball at him.  
  
"Okay, this means war." He grinned and threw one back only to have her run and dodge it.  
  
"No fair, stay still." He laughed and ran after her. Finally catching her and tackling her to the ground.  
  
Mac's laughing soon stopped when she realized he was now staring at her mouth which was mere inches away. "Harm."  
  
"You're so beautiful. My own little snow angel." He smiled softly and lowered his mouth to hers, kissing her tenderly, feeling her lips melt against his. He pulled back and kissed the tip of her nose and then her forehead before standing and pulling her gently to her feet. "Don't want you getting sick."  
  
Mac smiled faintly and laced her fingers through his as he led her back to the house.  
  
"There's hot chocolate in the pantry. And I think there's stuff to make smores in there as well. If you want to get that ready, I'll get the fire going again."  
  
"Sounds good." Mac smiled and headed towards the kitchen. She boiled some water and made them each a mug of coco before taking it and the graham crackers, Hershey bars, and marshmallows to the living room where Harm had a nice fire going. They both changed into dry clothes and cuddled up in front of the fire.  
  
Harm handed her a smore. "Nice and gooey." He laughed softly.  
  
Mac started to eat. "They certainly are." She laughed softly as she finished it and looked at her marshmallow covered fingers. "I'm going to wash my hands." She went to get up but he gently grasped her wrist.  
  
"Allow me." He smiled faintly and gently sucked her fingers until they were completely clean. His smile grew when he felt her purse racing under his fingertips.  
  
Mac swallowed hard. "Uh.thanks." She whispered.  
  
"Anytime." He kissed the palm of her hand gently before pulling her into his arms, feeling her relax completely. "If you're feeling better, I figured we could head back tomorrow and I could crash in your guest room for a few days?"  
  
"Sure. I mean you don't have to stay, but I'd like it if you did."  
  
He nodded and continued to hold her to him.  
  
"Harm?"  
  
"Hm?"  
  
"Can you hold me tonight? I promise that I won't flip you off the bed again."  
  
He could hear the faint smile in her voice. "Sure, I'd like that." He felt her relax and become dead weight against him. He chuckled quietly and carefully carried her over to the bed, holding her securely against him as he drifted off as well. 


	18. Part 18

Part 18  
  
1000 NEXT MORNING  
  
After packing the car, Harm came back inside and sat down on the bed, gently brushing Mac's hair back. "Wake up, beautiful." He said gently, watching a smile spread across her face.  
  
"Morning."  
  
"Morning to you too." He smiled. "How are you feeling?"  
  
"Much better."  
  
"Good. Get ready and we'll head home?"  
  
Mac nodded and headed for the bathroom. She took a quick shower, dressed and returned to the living room. "Okay, I'm ready." She took his offered hand and allowed him to lead her out to the car. She laughed softly when he opened her door. "Aren't you being a gentleman today."  
  
"I'm a gentleman everyday." He smiled and got in.  
  
"Yeah...sure." She teased and relaxed back in her seat, yawning again.  
  
Harm shrugged off his coat and handed it to her. "A pillow for you."  
  
"Thanks.you don't mind?"  
  
"Not at all. Get some rest."  
  
Mac nodded and was soon asleep again.  
  
Harm shook his head, smiling faintly and headed back towards Georgetown.  
  
THREE HOURS LATER Mac's Apartment  
  
Harm pulled up in front of the building and went around to the other side. He picked her up into his arms carefully and carried her up to her apartment. He tucked her into her bed before heading to the kitchen to find stuff to make for lunch. He chuckled softly when he saw the bare pantry. "Guess I'll be going to the store." He said to himself as he walked back to the bedroom, sitting on the edge of the bed. "Hey, Old Mother Hubbard.wake up."  
  
Mac groaned softly. "What are you talking about?"  
  
"You have basically no food so I'm going to head to the store. I'll be back soon."  
  
She nodded through heavy eyelids. "mmkay." She murmured and drifted off again.  
  
Harm chuckled again and pulled the covers up over her shoulders as he kissed her forehead. "Sleep well." He whispered and left.  
  
The shadowy figure watched the SUV disappear around the corner and picked the lock on the apartment door. 


	19. Part 19

Part 19  
  
The man walked silently through the apartment, pulling the knife out of its holder. He pushed open the bedroom door.  
  
The sound of the door opening woke Mac. "Harm?" She murmured. "Couldn't stay away, huh?" Her smile faded when there was no answer. "Harm?" She rubbed her eyes as she sat up. "Not talking to me?" She laughed softly when she spotted him in the doorway. "You know, sailor, sometimes you're just.well.strange."  
  
'Harm' slowly made his way to her, gripping the handle of the knife as he pulled the rope out of the waistband of his pants.  
  
Mac's eyes widened when metal caught her eye. "NO!" She screamed and moved for her sidearm only to feel the body come crashing down on top of her. She squirmed frantically, feeling him grab her wrists and tie them tightly together. She tensed all her muscles and finally managed to flip him onto the floor before running for the door.  
  
The man grabbed Mac's arm just as she reached the door and threw her back onto the bed, knocking the wind out of her. He rubbed his shoulder as he moved towards her slowly. He moved on top of her again as she struggled for breath.  
  
"Please don't do this." She whimpered, trying to free her hands. She cried out as the back of his hand hit her cheek hard. Tears began to stream down the cheeks when he pressed the cold metal to her neck.  
  
Meanwhile, Harm realized that he had forgot his cell phone and had turned back towards the apartment, not wanting to risk missing a call from Mac if she needed him. He parked and headed up the stairs, stopping momentarily when he heard her scream. "Mac!" He took the stairs three at a time. Panic hit him when he saw the open door. "No no no.this isn't happening." He rushed into back to the bedroom. Anger flared in Harm's eyes when he came across the scene. He pulled the imposter off her and threw him up against the wall before knocking him out with one punch. The sound of her soft sobs caused him to rush over to the side of the bed. "Ma." He was cut off by her flying into his arms as best as she good. He pulled her back, looking her over. "Did he.hurt you?"  
  
She shook her head. "No, he didn't.thanks to you."  
  
"Hey, I promised you didn't I?" He smiled faintly as he ran the back of his fingers over her un bruised cheek.  
  
Tears filled her eyes. "Yes, you did."  
  
"Hey.it's okay." He gently brushed the tears away before pulling her into her arms, feeling her bury her face into his shirt. He untied her hands before gently rubbing her back. "I'm just glad that I got here in time." He held her for a few minutes before moving her away slightly. He knelt down by the unconscious body and peeled back the mask. He sighed and shook his head, "Palmer. I should've known."  
  
Mac's breath caught slightly. "How the hell did he."  
  
"He broke out of Leavenworth three weeks ago." Webb said from the doorway causing them both to jump. "We found photos of both of you in his cell. They were hidden behind a brick in the wall. We figured that he has aiming for one of you.and then he attacked. After the first attack, we began to follow Mac. We hoped he'd come after her again and we we're disappointed."  
  
"You knew?!" Harm asked between clenched teeth. "She wasn't attacked, Webb, she was raped. That could've been stopped if you would've mentioned that he was coming for us." He began to move towards Webb only to be held back by Mac. "What if I wouldn't have gotten here today?!"  
  
"If we would've mentioned something to either of you, he'd be less likely to take the bait and we never would've caught him again."  
  
"Damnit, Clay. She isn't bait! She's Sarah!"  
  
"And we had to catch our man."  
  
"You deliberately put her in danger. And not just once. You did it twice."  
  
Mac felt him trying to pull away. "Please.allow me." She moved deliberately to Webb and slugged him, knocking him into the doorframe.  
  
Harm stifled a chuckle. "Webb, I highly suggest you get Palmer and yourself both out of here before she really hurts you." He grasped Mac's hand, pulling her gently back into his arms. He rested her chin on the top of her head as he wrapped his arms tightly around her back.  
  
Webb groaned and rubbed his jaw as his men moved in and apprehended Palmer. He watched as Mac lifted her head and stood on her tip toes to kiss Harm softly. He sighed softly, no knowing which 'punch' hurt more. "Take care of her, Rabb." He said softly.  
  
"I have every intention of doing just that." Harm smiled down at the woman in his arms.  
  
Webb nodded slightly before following his men out of the apartment building.  
  
"You're safe now." Harm said softly as he tucked Mac's hair behind her ear.  
  
"Now we just have to worry about us." Mac laughed softly.  
  
"Hey, I figure that we've gone through pretty much everything two people could go through. So what could possibly come between us?" He placed a tender kiss on her lips.  
  
"I feel like we should be knocking on wood or something." She mumbled, smiling faintly against his lips.  
  
"Since when are you superstitious?" He chuckled.  
  
"A woman has to have some secrets, Commander." Her smile turned into a grin.  
  
"Like the location of a certain tattoo?" He smirked.  
  
Mac laughed, her head falling back slightly. "I thought you'd forgotten about that."  
  
"Trust me.ever since that conversation.and then seeing you in Australia in that bikini and.well.that left very few places for it to be.so I've been thinking about it a lot. So, the question is.what do I have to do to get its location unclassified?"  
  
Mac took his hands and began to lead him to the bedroom. "C'mon, Flyboy. It's time to get you a higher security clearance." She grinned.  
  
Harm groaned when the phone rang. "Can we please just let the machine get it?" He gave her his best puppy dog eyes. "Pweety pweety pwease with sugar on tops?"  
  
Mac laughed more. "Why don't you get more comfortable and I promise I won't take long? And then you'll have my undivided attention."  
  
Harm sighed playfully. "I guess." He sat on the edge of the bed and began to remove his shoes and socks as Mac grabbed the phone.  
  
"Hello.yes, this is Colonel Mackenzie."  
  
Harm had just pulled his shirt over his head when he saw her pale.  
  
"I.yes, I understand.I'll call back later to set it up.yes.thank you." She slowly lowered the phone down onto the cradle.  
  
"Mac?" Harm asked gently, going to her side. "What is it?"  
  
Tears filled her eyes. "I.Harm.I."  
  
"What's wrong, Sarah?" He took her trembling hands into his and kissed her knuckles tenderly. "Talk to me."  
  
"Harm.I'm." She met his eyes. "I'm pregnant."  
  
THE END! 


	20. Author's Note

Author Note:  
  
I wanted to thank everyone whose read this store. And to those who sent feedback, THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU! And I want to send a special thanks to Kasey for all her help and guidance along the way. Her words of encouragement along with my best friend Sarah's constant hounding got me to get my butt in gear and get this story down.  
  
It was a rough story to write, but it was in my head and wouldn't go away.  
  
I know that it's taken a long time for me to get it done and posted, so thank you all for your patience.  
  
Neither of the topics covered in the story should be taken lightly.  
  
~1 in 4 college women have either been raped or suffered attempted rape ~84% of the women who were raped knew their assailant ~57% of the rapes occurred on a date ~Only 27% of women whose sexual assaults met the legal definition of rape thought of themselves as being rape victims ~1 in 12 male students surveyed had committed acts that met the legal definition of rape ~84% of men who had committed acts that met the legal definition of rape, said that what they had done was definitely not rape ~16% of male students who had committed rape took part in episodes with more than one attacker.gang rape ~75% of male students and 55% of female students involved in date rape had been drinking or using drugs ~33% of males surveyed said that they would commit rape if they definitely could escape detection ~25% of men surveyed believed that rape was acceptable if: the woman asks the man out, or the man pays for the date; or the woman goes back to the man's room after the date ~Ten times more rapes are committed than are reported ~The US has the world's highest rape rate of the countries that publish such statistics - 13 times higher than England, 4 times higher than Germany, and 20 times higher than Japan ~39% of woman who are raped have been raped more than once ~In the US, 1.3 women are raped every minute. This results in 78 rapes each hour, 1872 rapes each day, 56,160 rapes each month, and 683,280 rapes each year ~61% of all rape cases are victims less than 18 years old. 22% are between the ages of 18 and 24 ~Up to 90% of all sexual assaults involve the use of alcohol ~In 33% of sexual assault cases, the assault occurs in the victim's home ~21% of women raped by strangers reported the crime to the police; only 1.7% of the acquaintance rape victims reported the assault ~12% of college males reported that they had physically restrained a woman to gain sexual advantage  
  
What to do if you're assaulted  
  
Go to a safe place. Call the police EVEN IF YOU DON'T WANT TO PRESS CHARGES. They will assist you in getting immediate and critical medical attention. Do not shower or douche. Call the Sexual Assault Crisis Center. Consider telling someone you trust like a good friend or family member for the much needed support that you deserve. While at the hospital, you will be treated for any injuries, and evidence will be collected in case you decide to press charges. Also, you will be tested for sexually transmitted diseases, and the possibility of pregnancy will be addressed, if applicable. Going to the hospital DOES NOT MEAN THAT YOU NEED TO PRESS CHARGES. You can decide that later. Explore legal avenues. Sexual Assault Crisis Centers will assist you in reviewing options. Allow yourself time to heal. AND THE MOST IMPORTANT - It isn't your fault so don't blame yourself. No one deserves that and you have the right to say no.  
  
For local referrals or confidential counseling, please call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or 1-800-787-3224 (TDD). For emergencies, please call your local police at 911. 


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